Another Long Night

Here I sit in the media booth of church with service about to begin.

I’m tired, pale, nauseous, and I have a headache. Yes, this is a complaint blog (again?!).

Last night I was lying awake in bed, blinking at the alarm clock as my wife and dog snoozed away. I finally got out of bed at about 2:00 and stumbled into the living room to find something that had the potential to put me to sleep.

Wii? No, that would just wake me up more.

Eating? No, that would make me a pig.

Tylenol PM? No, that would make me a druggie (not really, but I don’t like being dependent on such things).

I decided to read the Bible until I got sleepy. And where better to begin than the book of 1 John, right? Actually, I have no idea what my reasoning was behind that idea; I just figured it’s a short book, and I wanted to finish a book in one sitting.

After making my way through 1, 2, and 3 John, I was still sleepy. Then I read Jude, and realized that if I would’ve blinked, I would’ve missed it. Okay, on to Revelation…

22 chapters and a rapture later, it was about 3:00 AM and I was no less sleepy than before I entered the living room. Having read the last 5 books of the Bible (though 1, 2, 3 John and Jude should only count as about 1/2 of a book), I needed something to knock me out, but I had nothing.

And that’s exactly what I had until somewhere between 3:30-4:00. I don’t know exactly when I fell asleep, but I know it couldn’t have come a minute too soon.

Does anyone have any natural sleep-inducing solutions? And no warm milk, please.

HELP!