Monthly Archives: May 2008

Curly Howard


As a follow-up to a tweet from today, I felt there was an issue I needed to address.

When asked by TJ Clayton who was better: Curly or Shemp, I mentioned that Curly was responsible for the greatest sequence of dialogue in film history. Well, here it is…

Enjoy and appreciate.

Curly: “Well, it’s like this, Mr. Court…

Lawyer: “Please address the judge as ‘Your Honor!'”

Curly: “Well, it’s like this, My Honor…”

Lawyer: “No, no! Not my honor…your honor!”

Curly: “Why? Don’tcha like ‘im?”

Don’t even tell me that’s not side-splittingly hilarious…



I took this shot in Destin today…

Well, actually…considering it is currently 2:17 AM, I should probably say I took it yesterday.

Regardless, I shot this through my mother-in-law’s tinted back window of her Honda Pilot. I don’t know why I like this picture. There’s nothing really stunning (or even good, frankly) about the compositional or dramatic elements in it, but I just like the idea of this older guy riding around Destin on his bike, totally wrapped up and lost in this activity that undoubtedly gives him near-endless amounts of happiness.

Or he could be taking it out for a last ride before he sells it, since he’s been bored with it for years. Either way…


(NOTE): This shot is best viewed full-size. Click on it, go to the Flickr page, and click the zoom button.


Black Mamba

Yo, sports haters, don’t dismiss this story just yet. I know you guys just skip to your next web-site when you see a sports picture on my blog. It’s not really about sports, I promise.

Kobe Bryant has a nickname: the Black Mamba.

Bryant started calling himself “Black Mamba” a few years ago, explaining to ESPN, “The mamba can strike with 99% accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession. That’s the kind of basketball precision I want to have.”

Kobe, news flash: self-labelled nicknames usually don’t go over too well. Kind of like that time in junior high when I started trying to get everyone to call me “Lord and Ruler Over My Poor Human Soul.”

I thought it was a fitting title for the poor infidels who went to school with me to use on a consistent basis (just to continually clarify our relationship), but apparently giving yourself a cool monicker is the equivalent of wearing high-water pants, spending 10+ hours a day playing World of Warcraft, or using Windows Vista (that is what you call a haymaker).

Life Lesson #43,971: let other people assign you nicknames, even if you are the best player in the NBA.

From the Land of the Dead…

I’ve had a few texts and Emails from people wondering why my blog has turned into a barren wasteland, ghost town, etc…

So I’m not dead. I’m not burned out from blogging. I’m not even fulfilling one of my secret missions as a CIA operative. I’ve been…”busy.”

The wife and I arrived late Sunday night in Crestview, Florida (slightly north of Destin). And thus the chaos began…

Monday: burned badly by Sol.

Tuesday: stuck inside the house, where there is no WiFi, attempting to manage the burning sensation.

Wednesday: a massive virus attacks my body and renders me completely useless for 24+ hours. I will not go into detail, but my body will never again be the same. I’m sure of it. I actually remember praying at one point, “God, either kill me or heal me. Either one will work!”

Today, I’m sitting in a What-a-burger, only because it’s the only location in this area that I’m certain offers free wireless. So I’ve been sipping on a drink and catching up on dozens of Emails, tons of Facebook/MySpace messages, perusing my favorite photographers’ blogs, and trying to make up for days worth of lost Internet.

Thanks for the concern, faithful friends. Now let’s see if I can scrape out some enjoyment out of this little vacation!

Isabel Rainwater

How cute is Isabel? Cuter than I could possibly say in this session intro, so why don’t I just let the pictures do the talking for me?

Many thanks go out to my sister-in-law, Patrice, for going with us and making Isabel feel comfortable with her Uncle Jeremy’s goofy brother.

Check out more from the set by clicking here.

California + Gay Marriage + Election Year = GOP White House

I’m going to try to be “objective” in this blog (whatever that means), pointing out what I consider to be the inevitable result of the recent decision of the California Supreme Court.

California has legalized gay marriage.

California’s Supreme Court declared gay couples in the nation’s biggest state can marry – a monumental but perhaps short-lived victory for the gay rights movement Thursday that was greeted with tears, hugs, kisses and at least one instant proposal of matrimony.

Okay, so the decision is going to get shot down later on, but let’s proceed anyways…

In my opinion, the most interesting thing about the story was found in the following quote:

“It’s about human dignity. It’s about human rights. It’s about time in California,” San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, pumping his fist in the air, told a roaring crowd at City Hall. “As California goes, so goes the rest of the nation. It’s inevitable. This door’s wide open now. It’s going to happen, whether you like it or not.”

First of all, the mayor’s usage of the word “you” sends an emphatic message to all the people out there who consider themselves a “you.” Of course we know who “you” is: the 55% of the country who opposes same-sex marriages.

Newsom’s comments more or less verbalized the big finger that the California Supreme Court has flipped in the direction of what is still (whether “you” like it or not) a majority of people in the United States. Keep in mind that the vast majority is still not in support of amending the Constitution to limit marriage as a man/woman-only privilege: as a country we’re still leery of amending the document our Founding Fathers ratified almost 220 years ago.

Regardless, what pro same-sex marriage liberals have done is shot the entire Democratic party in the face. Not in the foot…the face!

Two issues get conservatives to stampede their way to the voting booths: abortion and same-sex marriage. By legalizing same-sex marriage in an election year, for crying out loud…the California Supreme Court has virtually guaranteed that religious conservatives will be mobilized in a way that they haven’t been since they first heard the words “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.”

Conservatives have felt disenfranchised since John McCain locked up the GOP nomination for President. They don’t feel like John McCain represents true conservative values. What they needed was something to rally behind; the California Supreme Court has provided it for them.

Sure, the decision isn’t exactly going to be influenced as heavily as one might think by the eventual winner, but that’s not always important in politics. Politics depends on getting your constituency MAD about something. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a die-hard Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or woo-hoo-half-insane Green Party follower…people are energized by strong feelings, primarily angry ones.

So unless John McCain’s platform includes putting a Secret Service agent in every one of our houses to observe our actions and conversations as a means to protect us from an insidious radical Islamic force, the Republicans have just pulled into the lead.

Oh, and Newsom…why don’t you do your best to encourage the California Supreme Court to legalize buying booze for minors, as you allegedly did for your little temp-girlfriend, Brittanie Mountz, in 2006. There’s another thing that “you” (and by “you,” I mean people in general) frown upon that possibly needs to be changed whether “you” (and by “you,” I mean those same people I just mentioned) like it or not. Do “you” (and by “you,” I mean Gavin Newsom, womanizing mayor of San Francisco) think that would be a good idea?

Was that last part less than objective? Did I lose my journalistic credibility?

And does anyone really believe in true, 100% objective journalism?

The Impossible Has Happened…

Shannon Stanley, assistant pastor of The Pentecostals of Bossier City…

My brother-in-law…

The “hairy-legged Texan”…

Shannon Apple

…is a Mac user. His MacBook came in today. Check out the window decal.

Hell = frozen over.

Mother’s Day

Mother's Day

To a mother who works hard, loves endlessly, forgives much, ignores little, and generally stretches herself thin to help anyone and everyone within her reach…

Happy Mother’s Day

I love you to death, Mom!

(this is slightly late at 2:04 AM, but this picture wasn’t ready at the time)

Bridget Lee

I’ve been editing Bridget’s pictures since our shoot on Monday, and I finally completed the set tonight a little after midnight. We had an awesome time avoiding snakes, picking out isolated shopping carts to commandeer, and alternating at will between stoic/happy expressions.

Thank you, Bridget!

For 23 shots from the set, check out the collection.

Is That You?

Here’s a blog that only those UPCers out there will get, so my apologies go out to those without a point of reference. Forgive me.

I’m a soccer fan, so I hit up SoccerNet about once every other day or so to catch up on my Premiership news.

Anyways, I was looking at the main page, where a feature on Fabio Capello was displayed prominently. Shari, lying in bed next to me with Apple snuggled underneath her armpit, piped up and said, “Hey, Jeff Arnold!”

Fabio Capello, manager of the English national team, does indeed resemble Jeff Arnold. Bro. Arnold is featured in the inset.


Great call, wife.