19. Baltimore Ravens

The Ravens’ jerseys have great potential.

1. Their mascot is a raven, one of the coolest birds out there. Check out its mythology section on Wikipedia if you don’t believe me. Also: The Raven (duh).
2. Purple and black look great against white. I’m no fashion guru, but even I can see the potential.
3. They have Ray Lewis, who instantly makes any uniform 10x more intimidating, even if he is past his prime.

But, like the Titans, they have opted to go with the partial dual spike stripes across the middle/front of the helmet, and their logo stinks.

It also doesn’t help that Baltimore Raven offense can be characterized by the above picture. Luckily, the defense is summed up by the one below.

I'm a Raven, and I'muh gunna get'choo. Boogity boogity!

So here’s my problem: why do they have to put that dadblasted “B” everywhere?

Get it off the side of the pants. It’s ugly.

Get it off the Raven’s head. It’s ugly.

And which of these two travesties is your logo? The bird?

Or the shield?

Trick question! It doesn’t matter — they’re both ugly.

The raven head has the big ugly B and the ugly, thick yellow stroke. The shield looks like it’s trying (and failing) to be medieval-ish. Neither works. Do something else.

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2 thoughts on “19. Baltimore Ravens

  1. jeffreyjmarshall says:

    Hey Ryan I’ve noticed a lot of your post’s pictures on the NFL series are coming up empty?

  2. Hey man,

    I agree with you a hundred percent on your comments. This is and has been my team for a long and I am saddened that I just realized a huge part of their uniform. That crazy pattern in the shield is taken from the Maryland flag. It may bear a striking resemblance to those hideous uniforms that the Terrapins opened their season wearing. Thought maybe it’d be a fun fact to know and I am a huge fan of random trivia.

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