32. Seattle Seahawks

The Seattle Seahawks have the worst uniforms in the NFL.

Their helmet is actually pretty cool. Unfortunately, things break down as you travel south.

Why are these jerseys so terrible? It comes down to one element; that nausea-inducing shade of blue. I don’t know what to call it. I couldn’t distinguish teal from fuchsia, so I’m probably not the guy to ask, but I do know that the color of blue on the Seahawks jersey reminds of me of every tragic event that has taken place during my lifetime.

Proof? Their away jerseys.

Not great, but not as bad, right? But this guy is still shaking his head, undoubtedly because he’s so embarrassed that he plays for Seattle. Or maybe he’s fighting back the vomit from their alternate, bright green jerseys…

Case closed.

The design of the jerseys themselves (when not considering the colors) are completely unimaginative, but somehow manage to steer clear from the “beautifully simplistic” look of many classic jerseys. The only redeeming characteristic, in my humble opinion, is the strip alongside either pants leg. That’s it.

Now for the logo:

Introducing the original Angry Bird. This really isn’t a bad logo, but there’s not much to it. The bird seems upset, but not intimidating.

I think if a hawk flew out of the sky and attempted to use its talons to claw off your head, you’d scream like a banshee and carry a fear of birds for the rest of your life. However, there is no “Hawk Week” on Discovery Channel. We don’t fear looking up in the skies, dreading the silhouette of a big bird (heh…Big Bird…) swooping down to terrify the populace. We’re not afraid of hawks. We don’t love hawks. We really don’t care about hawks. They’re just a big bird that make a really annoying sound.

With that in mind, perhaps the Seahawks’ logo and uniforms are a perfect analogy of the rest of the country’s view of the football team: we just don’t care. But just because it rains 9 months out of the year in Seattle (or so Meg Ryan told me) doesn’t mean that the local football team’s uniforms have to bring on such a heavy feeling of depression and somberness.

Gag.

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2 thoughts on “32. Seattle Seahawks

  1. Josh says:

    I bet I already know who is number 1. I almost agee with The Seahawks being #32. Lets see number 31.

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