Blonde Intellectualism

All right, I’m not really going to talk about blonde intellectualism. I am obligated to post a discernible amount of actual content on this blog.

Everyone’s heard more than their share of dumb blonde jokes. Actually, I’ve heard about 5,000 too many.

However, someone sent me this link from The Daily Telegraph, and I had to share my favorites. The title of the article is “Top 50 dumb blonde quotes.”

(Disclaimer) – I wouldn’t recommend clicking on any links on the linked web page. I don’t know for sure that they’d be “that kind” of material, but it’s safer to not test it out. This is common sense on the Internet, but when have humans ever been about common sense (hence, this post).

Now…my favorites:

Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds: “Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.”

Ignorance +1

Awareness of common knowledge -1

Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: “I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”

I feel a bit lighter as well.

In my brain.

Jodie Marsh in a recent interview: “Eskimos are uncivilised because they don’t have any shops.”

I’m wondering what kind of question prompted that response.

Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet: “I don’t really think, I just walk.”

I knew it.

Sam Fox on fitness clothes: “I’ve got 10 pairs of training shoes – one for every day of the week.”

And I have 8 pairs of shoes altogether – one for each point of your IQ.

BB’s Helen Adam’s on education: “The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde – I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate.”

Dizzy?

Lady Victoria Hervey on the homeless: “It’s so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day.”

I’d better go tell Carl living under the bridge downtown about this. I’ll bet it has never crossed his mind!

Britney on Japan “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

The hits just keep coming from Miss Spears, folks.

Paris Hilton on her fame: “There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”

My reaction (click here).

Cameron Diaz on science: “I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.”

Isaac Newton finally has an equal.

Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: “I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England.”

What about someplace deep, like Miss Silverstone was talking about? Like, say…the bottom of the ocean?

Just a thought.

Britney on capital punishment: “I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time.”

Yeah, that’ll show ‘im.

Tara Reid on her fellow blonde celeb: “I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”

I had no idea Jessica was a geologist.

Ivana Trump on literature: “Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.”

…except consciousness.

Christina Aguilera on herself: “I’m an ocean, because I’m really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures.”

…like Britney’s theatre career.

Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 ’05 video awards: “Isn’t it weird I’m getting all emotionable.”

Yes, quite weird.

Mariah Carey on the death of the King of Jordan: “I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time.”

AIR Jordan. Not HEIR Jordan.

Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: “I don’t think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!”

That’s odd. Marrying Kid Rock and Tommy Lee sounded like really well thought-out plans to me.

Brooke Shields on her campaign against smoking: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

I’d better write this down…

Jessica Simpson on her scantily clad videos: “I’m definitely shy, so it was definitely acting for me to drop a trench coat and be in a bikini and try to get my cousins out of trouble by using my body. That was definitely acting!”

Yeah, you were definitely robbed of that Oscar.

Cyndi Crawford on modelling: “In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it’s not like a blank stare.”

I commend her for making such a bold move.

Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: “I love what you’ve done with the place!”

He should have told her to go sit in a corner.

Also, if you didn’t get that joke, then YOU are a blonde.

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3 thoughts on “Blonde Intellectualism

  1. And some people think Americans are stupid…

  2. Jessy Russell says:

    Heh! It took me a second to realize they would’ve been in the Oval office. Now I can’t stop chuckling. sigh.

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