Teenager…in the Kitchen…with a Taco.

Sure, that’s a poor Clue joke, but I was fresh out of with (not that I’m stocked up on the stuff, anyways).

Apparently, we have yet another teenager-gone-crazy story that has its roots buried deeply within the opiate of the pubescent masses…video games.

Teenager Assaults Mom with Taco:

A 19-year-old Deltona man is arrested for assaulting his own mother, with a taco. Dena Moir tells Fox 35 News her son, Zachary Moir, got out of control Wednesday night when she was calling him down for dinner. When he refused to stop playing his X-box and come down for dinner, Dena Moir says she went upstairs and unplugged the game, that’s when she says Zachary pushed her and called her a bad name. “I’ve been having trouble with him for awhile won’t work, wont’ go to school. He’s being rude and disrespectful. Pushing things to the limit as far as the violence.”

A few minutes later Dena says she was in the kitchen cleaning and cooking tacos for dinner when Zachary showed up. That’s when she says he slapped her arm and threw a taco in her face. “He went ahead and hit me with the taco and I got taco all over my shirt and kitchen. I’ve threatened to call police before. But anyway this time, I thought he went too far so I called police and he’s in jail now.”

Dena Moir called cops and said she wants to press charges. Moir says Zachary has tried to call several times, but she’s not picking up the phone yet. She says she’s going to let him sit in his jail cell in Volusia County for a few days to teach him a lesson.

Rule #1: Never attack your mother. Period.

Regardless of what your relationship is like with your mother, she’s probably put up with more of your stupidity than anyone else on earth, while working her butt off at the same time to make you happy, full, and loved.

Rule #2: Attacking someone with a taco is stupid. The news agencies will catch wind of the story, and you will be ridiculed publicly on a little-known blog hundreds, if not thousands, of miles away.

Rule #3: Put down the controller. Get a girlfriend. Get a job. Get a life.

Rule #4: FOX 35, a quick Google search would reveal to you that it’s called an XBox, not an X-box. Writing it improperly is a foolproof way to make yourself look distant and out of touch. I know I’m nitpicking here, but come on…

Don’t get me wrong, I like a good gaming session as much as the next guy, but I’m not throwing a taco in anyone’s face over anything, but ESPECIALLY not over a stupid video game.

At least the mother is giving the guy some tough love and letting him share a cell with Bubba or a few nights. Good for her.

Also, here’s the punk’s picture:

teenager xbox taco

Yeah, he’s cool. His rearwards head tilt proves it.


One thought on “Teenager…in the Kitchen…with a Taco.

  1. I think this is all a marketing ploy by Taco Bell. Next, they’ll be hosting weddings. Oh wait, they just did that — http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4718071n

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