Yep. For the second year in a row, I’m dedicating some space on my blog to that holiday above all holidays: COLUMBUS DAY!
How did I know that it was Columbus Day? I didn’t. That is, until I went to the bank to deposit some checks, and then realized, “Oh, I almost forgot…banks and the post office close on holidays, regardless of how meaningless (or erroneous) that holiday happens to be.”
I said it before, and I’ll say it again: COLUMBUS DIDN’T DISCOVER AMERICA!
1. Hello? Christopher? Leif Ericson called, and he’s going to drop kick you in your sissy face for claiming to have discovered the “New World.” (Also: see Leif’s travels. They put Columbus’ little trip to shame.)
2. How can you “discover” a hemisphere that already has up to 100,000,000 people living there?
3. Columbus was not the only guy who thought the earth was round during his lifetime. In fact, it was widely-regarded as truth.
4. Columbus’ motives were not pure. He was inspired purely by the potential profits of forging a new route to the Indies.
As governor and viceroy of the Indies, Columbus imposed iron discipline on what is now the Caribbean country of Dominican Republic, according to documents discovered by Spanish historians in 2005. In response to native unrest and revolt, Columbus ordered the a brutal crackdown in which many natives were killed; in an attempt to deter further rebellion, Columbus ordered their dismembered bodies to be paraded through the streets.
Happy Columbus Day, everyone.