Yo, sports haters, don’t dismiss this story just yet. I know you guys just skip to your next web-site when you see a sports picture on my blog. It’s not really about sports, I promise.
Kobe Bryant has a nickname: the Black Mamba.
Bryant started calling himself “Black Mamba” a few years ago, explaining to ESPN, “The mamba can strike with 99% accuracy at maximum speed, in rapid succession. That’s the kind of basketball precision I want to have.”
Kobe, news flash: self-labelled nicknames usually don’t go over too well. Kind of like that time in junior high when I started trying to get everyone to call me “Lord and Ruler Over My Poor Human Soul.”
I thought it was a fitting title for the poor infidels who went to school with me to use on a consistent basis (just to continually clarify our relationship), but apparently giving yourself a cool monicker is the equivalent of wearing high-water pants, spending 10+ hours a day playing World of Warcraft, or using Windows Vista (that is what you call a haymaker).
Life Lesson #43,971: let other people assign you nicknames, even if you are the best player in the NBA.