When the Wife’s Away…

…the husband will play?

No, not exactly.

The husband will sit in silence, prepare his message for youth service, and hope to God that he’s (the husband) not leaving something off his schedule that he should be remembering.

The husband will accidentally fall asleep reading on the couch and wake up at 4:35 AM. The dog’s sleep cycles will be thrown off by this and will actually remain in bed past 6:30 AM without waking up her master by licking him in the face in order to use the restroom.

The husband will have no one to talk to, even though he says very little in the first place. The husband will be thrown off by this and will speak to the dog as if she was a human. The dog will look at the husband as if he is crazy. The dog will then bite his hand in protest.

The husband will wake up cold in the morning, alone in the bed except for the dog, who seems to be freezing as well.

The husband will plan to use the extra silence at night to study. Instead, he reads for a few moments and decides to eat his second dinner of the night. Evidently Cinnamon Toast Crunch isn’t as filling when it’s a full “meal.” He will then proceed to copy old CDs to his iTunes library. He will not find this to be as captivating as he envisioned.

The husband will write an overly-sappy blog post that subtly laments the fact that he won’t see his wife for another three days.

The husband hopes you get the point.

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