I’m not a scientific person.

I don’t sit around and wonder about kinetic energy, the anatomy of lobsters, or how many seconds it will take the light from my cell phone to reach a nearby galaxy.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very glad that we have brilliant left-brained people who are fascinated with this stuff, but I really don’t care. It isn’t that I don’t want to care; I CANNOT care. I can care long enough to do a few problems and pass a class, but once I’m graduated, I won’t touch this stuff with a 10-kilometer pole (they’re forcing me to use the metric system).

I know my strengths and weaknesses. I can do well in an English class. I can do well in a poli-sci class. I can do allright in a philosophy class…

Science? Nope.

Math? Bigger nope.

Foreign languages? I’m not sure if that’s related to the left hemisphere of my brain resembling Terry Shiavo, but NOPE.

As I type up this post, I’m sitting in a physical science class, listening to a former NASA astrophysicist explain the intricacies of scientific notation. This isn’t exactly mind-bending stuff; it’s easy compared to everything I’ll be working on this semester. Nevertheless, I’m bored out of my mind. I am typing on my computer, writing formulas down, drawing funny little scientist cartoon characters (they all end up looking like the guy from Futurama), and sipping on Mountain Dew every 2 minutes or so.

And people wonder why I’m on track to graduate after 7 long, gruesome years.

Anyways, this professor sounds like she is talking entirely through her nose. She seems nice enough, but I can’t help but notice that as she speaks, her mouth barely moves. Her eyes don’t move. Her cheeks…do not move.

The only thing moving as she talks are her eyebrows. They’re bouncing all over the place! It’s easily the most fascinating aspect of this class.

Before I get out of here, at about halfway through the class she asked, “Did everyone just get that in their little heads?”

In a word: nope.


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