Tag Archives: team

4. Oakland Raiders

Al Davis, the Raiders’ long-time owner/GM/doofus, is wrong about almost everything these days, but he remains right about one: silver and black rocks.

The Raiders’ uniforms can be summed up one a word, which can also be used to most accurately describe their fans: scary. But they weren’t always scary…

In 1960, a “name the team” contest was held by the Oakland Tribune. The winning monicker: the Oakland Señors. That’s right. The scary black-and-silver Raiders could have been called the Oakland Señors. The name was changed nine days later. The original color scheme was black and gold, featuring logo-less black helmets with a single stripe. This all changed when new owner Al Davis entered into the scene and changed the Raiders’ colors to silver and black, resulting in one of the most brilliant marketing success stories in sports.

Unfortunately, Al’s strategies (especially in regards to the NFL Draft) are horribly antiquated, and he has yet to come to grips with the deeper, more cerebral NFL of the 21st century. The Raiders have not been a serious contender for many years, but that hasn’t affected the beauty of their historically-great uniforms.

Darren McFadden: Arkansas native and up-and-coming NFL star

Run away!

Speedy wide receiver, Jacoby Ford

The white jerseys: pretty much just as cool.

Bad team, great unis.

And what is the only thing scarier than Raider Nation (pictured below)?

The NFL's most normal fan base.

Raiders owner Al Davis…

AHHHHHH!!!

I’ve said it about other logos and uniforms during this series, but the Raiders logo is absolutely classic. If it ever changes, you might as well dig up Al Davis’ coffin and paint Kansas City’s logo on it in bright red and yellow.

Yes, I’m aware that he’s not dead yet. Emphasis on yet.

How did he lose his eye? Al Davis ate it.

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10. Dallas Cowboys

We’ve now entered the top 10.

The final jersey in the “Perty, Perty Good” division: my Dallas Cowboys.

I’ve tried desperately to remain as unbiased as possible during the process of solidifying this list, and the placement of America’s Team has made up 80% of that struggle. I’ve stared at photos of the Cowboy’s uniforms for about 23 of my 28 years on earth. Hershel Walker scoring a touchdown and being mobbed by his celebrating teammates is my very first football memory. My father, my brother, my brother-in-law, my nephews…all Cowboy fans. My son will be a Cowboy fan, even though he will be born here in Louisiana, land of thousands of dedicated New Orleans Saints fans (and millions of bandwagon Saints “fans”). I love this team.

But how do I rate their uniform? Aesthetically, how can I rate this jersey?

Simple. I’ve always known exactly where I stand on the Cowboy’s uniforms and logo.

1. The Cowboys have the most iconic logo in the NFL. This isn’t my subjective opinion. It’s instantly identifiable, even if it is just an outlined star. It represents the history of the team that has become so synonymous with the game itself that it became “America’s Team.” A Saints-loving friend of mine tried to argue once that the Saints are the new “America’s Team.” I’m sorry, but no. Just check the ratings year-in and year-out, even during a decade-and-a-half playoff win drought. The Cowboys still rate higher than every other NFL team (click here for the data to prove it).

There has been, is, and forever will be exactly one America’s Team. It is the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas Cowboys are embodied in this star. The logo is the Dallas Cowboys.

2. The helmet is among the league’s best. It obviously features the star, but it’s perfectly balanced, thanks to the perfectly-aligned stripes, and the appropriate level of shimmer (without crossing over into namby-pamby land):

Emmitt Smith: NFL rushing record holder and twinkle-toed dancer

3. The Cowboys almost always wear their white jerseys.

Here’s where I am, and have always been, conflicted. I just don’t know how I feel about the Cowboy’s white uniforms.

An interesting bit of history: the Cowboys’ original owners felt that the football team, just as all “good guy” cowboys in old westerns, should always wear white. That’s partly why they have always worn white at home, which for many years distinguished them from most of the league. When they did wear their blue jerseys, they almost always underperformed, leading fans of the team to believe that the blue jerseys were cursed. (note: all of the Cowboys’ five championships were won while in their white jerseys)

Other teams began to tap into the Cowboys’ superstition, and would wear their white uniforms at home games, forcing the Cowboys to wear their “unlucky” blue jerseys. The Philadelphia Eagles and Washington Redskins are two notable cold-weather teams that began this trend (Most white-wearing home teams did so because of intense heat. See also: San Diego, Arizona, etc.). The Cowboys almost never wear these blue uniforms, which is a shame, because they’re actually pretty good.

The white uniforms very much the Cowboys’ jerseys. They have plenty of history wrapped up into them, but history didn’t give the Colts a pass, so where do these jerseys truly stand? I keep looking at them, expecting to admit that I don’t like them, but I do. And I don’t think it’s just because they belong to the Cowboys. But you be the judge:

Demarcus Ware: my favorite current Cowboy

Felix Jones: from the University of Arkansas to glory (what a step up!)

From the glory days.

The underutilized “unlucky” blue uniforms:

Hoping to end a 17-year drought...

And the throwback jerseys, which I secretly wish would become the new home uniforms after some modern alterations:

The Cowboys iconography is far too compelling to leave them out of the top-10, but in all honesty, there has always been something lacking in their uniforms. I’ve felt it, even as a die-hard Cowboys fan. They have one of the best identifiable helmets in football, period (only surpassed by Michigan’s timeless stripes), and are so well balanced in the leg stripes and elegant shade of navy. But the white jerseys are not quite fitting for America’s Team.

The Cowboys uniforms play a balancing game that keeps them out of mediocrity, but holds them back from greatness.

But none of that would matter if Super Bowl #6 showed up soon.

One of the greats: "Roger the Dodger" AKA "Captain America" - Roger Staubach

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19. Baltimore Ravens

The Ravens’ jerseys have great potential.

1. Their mascot is a raven, one of the coolest birds out there. Check out its mythology section on Wikipedia if you don’t believe me. Also: The Raven (duh).
2. Purple and black look great against white. I’m no fashion guru, but even I can see the potential.
3. They have Ray Lewis, who instantly makes any uniform 10x more intimidating, even if he is past his prime.

But, like the Titans, they have opted to go with the partial dual spike stripes across the middle/front of the helmet, and their logo stinks.

It also doesn’t help that Baltimore Raven offense can be characterized by the above picture. Luckily, the defense is summed up by the one below.

I'm a Raven, and I'muh gunna get'choo. Boogity boogity!

So here’s my problem: why do they have to put that dadblasted “B” everywhere?

Get it off the side of the pants. It’s ugly.

Get it off the Raven’s head. It’s ugly.

And which of these two travesties is your logo? The bird?

Or the shield?

Trick question! It doesn’t matter — they’re both ugly.

The raven head has the big ugly B and the ugly, thick yellow stroke. The shield looks like it’s trying (and failing) to be medieval-ish. Neither works. Do something else.

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26. Jacksonville Jaguars

1995 saw the introduction of two new NFL franchises: the Carolina Panthers and the Jacksonville Jaguars. Both suffer from a distinct case of mid-90s-itis (see also: Toronto Raptors): “in your face” color schemes with “look at how 1995 we are” logos. There’s nothing classic about either franchise’s look, but Jacksonville’s is undoubtedly worse.

Their uniforms aren’t necessarily “bad” in the traditional sense — they’re just completely without inspiration.

I'm not 100% sure this isn't a CFL photo.

1 Patrios vs. 4 Jaguars...I don't like the Jags' odds.

The problem with these photos is that they don’t show off Jacksonville’s glorious logo:

Ahhh…90s.

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