Kobe’s New Face

The Lakers are up 3-1 in their 2009 NBA Finals against the Orlando Magic. Game 5 takes place tonight in Orlando at 8:00 ET. The Lakers have either out-skilled the Magic or reaped the benefits of Stan Van Gundy doing just as sloppy of a job coaching his team as he does dressing himself before games.

None of that is surprising. The Lakers are the favorites, and SVG is easy to make fun of. What is surprising, however, is Kobe Bryant’s new face:

Frightened? Confused? Laughing? Trying to replicate the expression in the mirror?

I wasn’t able to see games 2, 3, or 4, but I did manage to catch game 1, in which the Lakers completely demoralized the Magic, and Kobe went into hit-man mode in the third quarter. He was busting one contested, inadvisable shot after another; it was pretty darn impressive, actually. Then his face started twisting…his jaw began protruding…and he suddenly looked a lot like this:

I’m guessing Kobe has been practicing his “scowl” for months, maybe even years. He has probably stared into the mirror, tried the tongue wag (been done), the nonchalant stare (also done), and the bumbling doofus (I couldn’t resist), but never found one that worked.

Then he watched some of the Celtic’s games in the playoffs. KG, sitting on the bench with a suit on (custom-made suits that fit a 7-footer…probably unbelievably expensive), jutting out his bottom jaw, and making everyone around him either petrified or perplexed.

Kobe: “Heyyyy…yeahhh…that’s cool. KG has street cred. KG won a ring last year.”

Kobe juts out his own bottom jaw.

Kobe: “No, too close to KG’s. I don’t need it to look identical…”

The Laker’s captain then stumbles into an epiphany and opens his mouth. His teeth are so menacing, so fearless, so…gerbil-like. This is the look!

This is clearly yet another case of Kobe trying to cultivate his image. He is the Alex Rodriguez of basketball, carefully crafting his persona. At first he wanted to be Michael Jordan: no tattoos, well-spoken, and classy. Then he decided he needed street cred, got himself inked up, and pulled the spoiled diva move where he asked to be traded out of L.A. despite being treated like a god there.

And now…the scowl. Every superstar has something, right? Magic was smiling. Jordan was tongue-flapping. Bird was…just staring. All the time. Kobe is an unbelievable talent, but he’s not distinctive. He’s not even remotely likable.

But this? Kobe…c’mon. Seriously.

Again, just for emphasis:

We Live in a Sad World…

Seen on Digg.

Heaven is, Hell is…

I saw this shirt on Digg…

…then I saw the following alternate, Asian version.

Heaven is where the police are Japanese, the chefs Iron, the mechanics Japanese, the lovers (South) Korean, and it is all organized by the Japanese. Hell is where the police are North Korean, the chefs North Korean, the mechanics North Korean, the lovers North Korean, and it is all organized by the North Koreans.

I have to admit…I think I like the second one better.

Sports vs. The Arts

I have a love/hate relationship with sports today.

I’m not naturally the sports kind of guy. Now, don’t get me wrong; I played basketball almost every day for nine years, from fourth grade until I graduated high school. I worked at it. I ran several miles on practice days and pushed myself in order to get better.

Basketball wasn’t the only sport I liked, either. I loved playing softball, football, golf, and even less-organized sports like dodge ball and four square. I made up games with my friends. Troy White and I invented a game in which we got on the swings at school, loosened our shoes, and used the lines in the parking lot to measure how far we could launch them at the peak of the forward swing (that game was awesome).

But I’m not sure why I like sports. I’ve developed interests in soccer and hockey since I graduated, but I’m not sure what drew me to them.

Is it the competition? I don’t think so. I’m not a naturally competitive kind of guy. I just like having fun. That doesn’t mean that I don’t get aggravated when I lose during Monday night basketball, or get angry with myself when I miss a shot. But I don’t seek out competitive situations.

Is it the exercise? Well, now it is, since I spend so much time behind a computer and desperately need some physical activity. When I was younger…not so much. I was 6’1’’, 135 pounds. I didn’t need exercise; I needed a plate of Popeye’s chicken.

I’ve decided it was my environment. My brother was beyond fanatical about basketball. If he had to choose between a date with a beautiful girl and a weekend-long basketball tournament, he would’ve chose the tournament every single time. He worked harder, played harder, and invested more into basketball than I ever would.

My dad loved sports too. He and his brothers played every sport imaginable in their back yard while growing up. He played softball at youth camps (even when he preached them later in his life), and is currently a semi-dedicated LSU football fan (as we all are).<p.

But without their influence, would I have ever liked sports?

My mom and dad did try to help me along the path to music when I showed an interest. I started guitar lessons at about eleven-years-old. A man in our church was an unbelievable guitarist, and started teaching me. After several lessons (which I loved), he moved away to Houston and we were obviously going to need another teacher, but I never found one. I never begged my parents to send me back to guitar lessons. I didn’t really even think about it. I was a kid; I loved Mario and dirt bikes. Why would I want to practice guitar?

Today I am constantly beating myself up over not asking for a new teacher and developing a musical skill. I don’t play a single instrument, but I’m constantly making up songs, creating melodies, singing the lyrics, and clearly hearing the music in my head, but I have no way to translate it into something that can be heard and experienced.

I love guitars (especially acoustic), and have an interest in an eclectic variety of music. I listen to songs over and over again, analyzing what it is that makes them so catchy or meaningful. I wish, with an almost pitiful desperation, that I could write songs of my own.

But I played basketball…not guitar.

Don’t get me wrong. I learned a lot from basketball. I had a great coach who taught us hard work, discipline, teamwork, and how to analyze moments and react accordingly in a split second. I had a blast going to tournaments and hanging out with friends.

But why I didn’t dedicate time into an activity that would reap dividends for literally the rest of my life is inexplicable. Call it youthful foolishness if you will, but all I can associate with is regret.

Sure, I can still learn guitar (I’m kinda/sorta trying), but if only I had developed a wider range of interests and put my heart into something that I loved, not because of my environment, but because it appealed to me…things might be different today.

And that is why my children will be playing an instrument.

Cell Phone Mayhem

I don’t believe I’ve ever had a cell phone start ringing (at least not out loud) during L1FT, so this seems kind of crazy that Obama’s press secretary, Robert Gibbs, has to deal with this.

Additionally, I thought that the press would go much easier on a press secretary for a Democratic president, but they’ve been firing at Gibbs non-stop for weeks. This awkward, slightly humorous situation actually interrupted an incredibly tense moment.

Props to My Cuz…

Literally. My uncle sent out the link to my cousin, Devin’s, video parody of Smashmouth’s “All Star” for Mother’s Day 2009. I thought it was worth sharing. It might be my family bias, but I got a kick out of it.

Enjoy. Also, click on the video and give it 5 stars on YouTube.

JoyBeth – Senior Portraits

I’ve been looking forward to JoyBeth’s pictures for a really long time; she’s such a natural in front of the camera. We had a blast, and even pulled off some night shots (as she and Kaleb got chased down by a Target employee who wasn’t exactly happy about the cart…).

Thanks JB! It was a bee-last!

Apple: Really Superior?

Just ask the consumers. Actually, ask the most trusted source for consumers everywhere: Consumer Reports.

The new overview from the researchers’ June report gives the Mac portables the lead in every size category, ranging from near-ultraportables up through desktop replacements. Consumer Reports’ study covers not only performance but design, versatility, the screen quality and battery life.

In the 17- to 18-inch category, the 17-inch MacBook Pro extended the gap even further, notching 80 points where the best Windows PC again earned a score of 64. Symbolically embarrassing for Microsoft, the exact same HP Pavilion dv7 that actress Lauren thought was a better deal in the first Microsoft commercial placed well behind Apple’s contender, sitting in fourth place with 59.

Everyone loves graphs, right? Notice the top two computers on the first one…

Consider just how wide the lead is here:

This is Why I Hate the Government

White House Air Force One Photo Op: $328,835

President Barack Obama ordered a review of a publicity-photo shoot with one of the planes that serves as Air Force One that cost taxpayers $328,835 and caused a furor in New York City.

Obama said he wasn’t informed in advance of yesterday’s low-altitude flight over New York Harbor, which rattled windows in New York’s financial district and prompted some office workers to flee buildings in fear it was a terrorist attack.

“It was a mistake,” Obama said today before a meeting at FBI headquarters in Washington. “It will not happen again.”

I’m not blaming Obama. I’m not blaming any one particular person. I’m not blaming the military.

I am blaming the entire governmental system. All of it.

Not only did they approve a meaningless waste of tax money (again…that’s $328,835), but they scared the mess out of New York citizens who saw a low-flying plane and understandably thought it was 9/11 all over again. So this was not just wasteful, but plain (Oooo…pun intended) stupid on the part of whoever was part of this whole operation.

The Robinsons

I can’t begin to tell you how much fun this shoot was. These two kids are some of the funniest, craziest, cutest little people on the planet. I hope the Robinson family is as happy as I was with how these turned out. You guys rock!

See more from this shoot at their Flickr set.